What Your Hardest Emotions Might Be Trying to Tell You
Most of us have learned—often very early—to move away from difficult emotions as quickly as possible. We distract ourselves, analyze them away, judge them, or push through. While these strategies may help us function in the short term, they often leave something unresolved beneath the surface.
Mindful emotional exploration offers a different approach. Rather than trying to fix or eliminate an uncomfortable feeling, this practice invites us to slow down and listen—to understand what an emotion might be communicating, protecting, or pointing toward.
Why Explore Emotions Mindfully?
Emotions are not problems to be solved; they are signals. Even the most uncomfortable feelings—anxiety, sadness, anger, ambivalence—often arise in service of something important: safety, connection, meaning, or values that matter deeply to us.
When we approach emotions with curiosity rather than judgment, we create space for insight, self-compassion, and choice. Over time, this can help reduce emotional reactivity and increase a sense of agency and clarity.
A Guided Practice: Mindful Exploration of a Challenging Emotion
You can either read the following or listen to the MP3 recording of me guiding you through this exercise. You can try this practice whenever you notice emotional distress or internal conflict. It may be especially helpful when you feel stuck, overwhelmed, or unsure how to move forward.
Begin by Bringing to Mind a Situation
Choose something that feels emotionally charged—perhaps a situation you feel conflicted about or that has been causing you distress. As you think about it, notice what naturally arises: thoughts, memories, emotions, and urges.
See if you can observe these experiences without judgment, as though you were watching gentle waves on the surface of water.
Tune Into Your Body
Shift your attention to your body:
What physical sensations do you notice as you think about this situation?
Where do you feel them most—your chest, stomach, shoulders, jaw, or somewhere else?
Try breathing gently into that area, allowing the sensations to be there without needing to change them.
There’s no right or wrong experience here. The goal is simply to notice.
Let the Emotion Speak
Imagine that the emotion you’re experiencing could speak. Gently ask yourself:
What might this feeling be trying to tell me?
What is it communicating or protecting me from?
How might it be trying to help me—by keeping me safe, avoiding pain, or drawing attention to something that matters?
If this emotion represented a value or a need, what might that be?
You’re not looking for a perfect answer—just whatever feels true or meaningful in this moment.
Separate the Emotion from the Judgment
Often, the most painful part of an emotion is not the feeling itself, but the story we tell about it (for example: “I shouldn’t feel this way” or “This means something is wrong with me.”)
Ask yourself:
What judgments does your mind add to this emotion?
What would you say to a close friend who felt this way?
How might you approach this feeling with curiosity and kindness rather than criticism?
Gently Consider What Comes Next
If you allowed this emotion to guide you—without letting it take over—what might it point you toward?
What small, values-aligned step could honor this feeling?
How could you acknowledge the emotion while still moving in the direction of what matters most to you?
Closing the Practice
Take a few slow, deep breaths. Notice any shifts in your body or mind, even subtle ones. Acknowledge the courage it takes to pause and connect with difficult emotions.
When you’re ready, gently open your eyes and return to your surroundings.
You may find it helpful to repeat this practice over time. On later rounds, you might invite the strongest emotion to step aside briefly, allowing space to get to know other feelings or parts of yourself that are also present.
Over time, practices like this can help transform your relationship with emotions—from something to fear or suppress, into something that can inform, guide, and support you.
Explore This Work Together
If you’d like support exploring difficult emotions in a safe, thoughtful, and trauma-informed way, you’re welcome to schedule an appointment with me. Therapy can offer a steady space to slow down, listen, and make sense of what your inner experience is communicating.